Twilight blackout

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Although vampire movies seemed to have lost their popularity after the “Queen of the Damned” mania in 2002, Twilight, which opened in cinemas last November, appeared just when we were all craving for some supernatural romance over Coke and popcorn.

You don’t really need to be a great fan of Ann Rice, perhaps the most famous author in the genre, to enjoy the whole vampire craze. However, it would only work in your favor if you consider yourself to have been “17 for a while,” as Twilight does not offer a very complicated plot. It actually doesn’t offer much at all. As somebody who has read all the books from Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight series, I find the movie a bit disappointing.

The story revolves around Isabella “Bella” Swan (Kristen Steward), who moves in with her dad in the super-boring, super-small town of Forks, DC. She instantly becomes the new Belle of the town. However no one can win her heart, until Edward Cullen (Robert Pattison) shows up in the school cafeteria. He is smart, gorgeous, absolutely perfect and… a vampire. Ironically, he is also very good at taking care of her, as she is the greatest jinx to walk the streets of Forks. Not only does she constantly stumble, fall, and bruise, but she attracts trouble. She is subsequently almost smashed by a van, abused by a group of drunkards and to top it all, killed by a raging outcast vampire. But Edward is there to take care of it all.

I went to see the movie on the big screen, so one might say I had the perfect opportunity to observe all the flaws together with the good stuff, of course. To start with, the colors look oversaturated which disturbs the eye at first. I couldn’t stop thinking that someone messed up the makeup so bad they needed to hide it desperately. My theory was supported by Edward’s constantly blushing cheeks and red-from-the-cold ears. Remember, the guy is a chalk-white vampire and has no blood to displace around.

I honestly haven’t seen such bad special effects since… well, for quite some time now. It was as if someone was trying to get the hang of it but was doing it for the first time (and should definitely never try to do it again). One would expect more from a $37 million production. There is a point in the movie when Edward stops the infamous van from crashing Bella that was so hilarious I think the rest of the people in the theater hated me for laughing so hard. He looks like he has a very serious superman complex and gives her the “I shouldn’t have done that; my shrink is so gonna kill me” expression as he leaves a very fake dent on the latter.

I probably should have started with the actors but I guess I like to save the best for last. It was like watching theater. They were overdoing it. With a passion. The look Edward was giving to everybody could have made the most depressed person giggle like a little girl. It can be best described as a combination of a no-blinking game, an ultimate confusion caused by the question “2+2=?” and the great desire to look… desirable. Bella was ok. That’s all. She was neither exceptional nor disappointing. I did expect a lot more as the character in the book is very complicated, very emotional, a brave little kitten, who thinks it’s a tiger, but is actually very vulnerable and funny. I didn’t see any of that in the movie and it left me unsatisfied. The only character that was great was Bella’s dad . He looked weirdly professional in comparison to the rest, and somehow charming and realistic.

One good thing about the movie is the soundtrack, which sold 165,000 copies in its first week of release, topping the Billboard 200.Among the musicians that appear in it are Muse, Paramore, The Black Ghosts, Linkin Park, Iron & Wine, and Collective Soul.

As a whole, if you thought Brad Pitt was mnogo hot in Interview with a Vampire, Robert Pattison will definitely bring sexy back around for you. So guys, unless you want to compete with a perfect vampire embodiment of Mr. Darcy, don’t consider this “American romantic-fantasy film” to be the perfect choice for a first date. Edward Cullen takes the definition of a “perfect gentleman” to a whole different level. Not to mention that he does stalk Bella. So try to avoid that because your girl’s roomies might not be so enthusiastic about the idea of you hovering above the window pane 24/7.