MORONISM: Sarcasm shall prevail

Four years ago my first roommate, then in More Honors, was telling me how More Honors was actually a mock-show and how cool it was to get nominated. Then I didn't quite get her point: how can it be a MOCKery, but at the same time, COOL to win? It can't. That's the point. However, year after year people made huge campaigns for Google, Future Leader, Man of the Year or Mojo nominations. This year, I am most proud to announce, More Honors is bringing sarcasm back.

It is, of course, rather amusing to watch people create facebook groups, write emails, collect signatures, and even pull pranks promising they will disclose who the mysterious doer is upon winning. This is not what diminished the mock quality of the show. What did was that most people were proud of wining those awards because the notion that it's a pop award was created. Even the presence of the WannaBe category did not discourage them. Only Lick-a-phessor, the most unwanted award on the list, managed to preserve the good old mock spirit.

This year's descriptions are struggling to bring back the Golden Ages of More Honors when it was uncool to be "an Alcohol Friendly." Really now, would you brag to your friends that you won FARteest if you have to give them the description "They are very artsy, or at least they think they are," provided on the poster? I don't think so.

Unfortunately, as it always happens, some categories from the pop list got discarded (sad face). This year AUBGers will not have the opportunity to vote OCC (or Condition0, for that matter) for Google, or the newly assembled Cheer Leaders' Squad for Sportsperson. But lose hope not: we have AU Capone (the man who, as those who have taken Creative Writing will recognize, is the epitome of "I own the f*cking floor you stand on."), CheapAss (yes, it's your friend, after whom your food is always eaten, and your favorite tee is spread on your bed with a huge stain in a natural color on it, ‘cause he had nothing to wear out last night), and, of course Dweeb, the mega-nerd (who describes his inability to go to class by saying he overslept, waiting for my mana points to go up before I go into battle," and who might also quote Shakespeare on a first date, without taking any Mullen courses).

Following that train of thought, I would really like to see someone throwing a cocktail after receiving the award, or at least buying beer for those who voted him. I know it's not really an election for Student Representatives, but still, I address all those eager potential Oxymorons: forget not where you came from if your wish to win a certain category! Buy us beer :P
Beware! It is always more fun if you nominate not only people from among your friends, but also others who've stricken with their moronism. Think Lick-a-phessor.